


To Wake To Love

by silverneko9lives0



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coma, Heartbreak, Hobbit Kink Meme, M/M, Sleeping Beauty Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2019-10-07 10:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverneko9lives0/pseuds/silverneko9lives0
Summary: Sometimes the only soul that can mend a broken heart is the one that broke it. For they are the ones holding all the pieces. – Patti Roberts.After the BotFA, Bilbo leaves Thorin and returns to the Shire. A few months later, two of their companions come knocking at his door…





	1. Chapter 1

_I may have been too cruel,_ Bilbo thought, sipping his tea.

He hadn’t thought so a year ago, but a year ago, he was still fighting the trauma of being threatened by the one he thought he could trust beyond all doubt.

He could not confidently go through with any sort of relationship with Thorin then.

Would he be able to now?

He didn’t quite know.

A part of him desperately wanted to say yes, he would. But Bilbo was a rational sort. The likelihood of any sort of romantic relationship with the King of Erebor was slim to none.

The memory of their last encounter was always one he revisited…

_“Please,” Thorin whispered, reaching for him._

_Bilbo stepped backward out of his reach and turned away. It was that or meet Thorin’s heartbroken gaze. He twirled the bead and braid around his finger, debating what to do with it. Cut it? He thought that too cruel. It’d have to be taken out anyway._

_“I know I hurt you, but you know I wasn’t myself. Ghivasha…Amrâlimê…I am sorry, Bilbo. I love you.”_

_“I know you do. That’s part of the problem, isn’t it?” Bilbo sighed. “I helped you get your home back. That’s all I’m needed for, so now I will go back to my home.”_

_“You are my home,” Thorin said. “Does that mean nothing to you?”_

_“I can’t stay where I am not safe!” Bilbo shouted, pulling the courtship bead free. “I’m sorry, Thorin, but you tried to kill me. How can I believe a word you say?”_

_If he looked at him, he’d likely break apart, so he didn’t. A hard feat, given how devastated his –_

_No._

_Not his._

_Not anymore._

_Bilbo placed the bead on Thorin’s sternum._

_“Keep it. Give it to someone who you won’t feel a need to threaten.”_

_Thorin gripped his wrist, and Bilbo tensed. His heart beat rapidly. From fear or hope, he didn’t know. Nor did he feel it mattered as things were right now._

_“Let go of me, Thorin.”_

_“There is no one else for me, Bilbo. It’s you. It’s always been you and always will be.”_

_Bilbo exhaled and wrenched free. “I wish you well, Thorin.”_

_“Bilbo! Bilbo, wait!”_

_He didn’t._

_There wasn’t anything Thorin could say to change his mind._

Bilbo sighed, wondering if it was too late to go back. He left angry and hurt. He needed time away, but to run back to the Shire when he was forever changed?

Unlikely.

How he left had made him a little ill. He hadn’t seen anyone else afterward, convinced they’d – like Thorin – chip away at his resolve to leave.

 _Yes,_ he decided. _I was too cruel._

Well, there was nothing for it but to send a letter to Thorin and the others. Make apologies of his own and see if any friendships could rekindle.

He didn’t see how he could hope for more than that. Besides, it was best if he and Thorin never saw each other again anyway. They were too…

Too…

Well, it was passionate, that much was certain.

Before Thorin fell ill, he was that. He was always that.

Passionate.

He jolted when someone knocked at the door rapidly. It was dark out already and most Hobbits were already deep asleep by now. Bilbo set his tea down just as another succession of knocks summoned him. He went to the door, thinking perhaps that he’d see a Dwarf again.

A part of him feared and hoped that it’d be Thorin.

He pulled the door open.

“Oh, good,” Balin said, releasing a relieved sigh. “You’re home.” Dwalin forced his way inside. “Oi! Brother, we agreed to talk to him first.”

“Still going to pack for him!” Dwalin snapped. “Sooner we’re back on the road, the better.”

“What? No! I’m not going anywhere without an explanation!”

“Yes, I’m aware of that,” Balin assured him. He scratched the back of his neck. “It’s Thorin.”

Bilbo swallowed, fearing the worst. “What about Thorin?”

“He’s not woken up.”

Bilbo leaned against the wall. “He’s dead?” he asked, feeling as though he’d been dropped in ice water.

“Dead? No! No, he’s alive. But he’s comatose. It only should’ve lasted till his injuries were healed which was some months ago, so…well, that he’s not woken…uh…”

“If he’s not dead, then why are you here?”

“To bring you back,” Balin said. “He needs you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Bilbo, you have to come back to Erebor. You’re his only chance at waking.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Balin!” Bilbo snapped. “How am I supposed to help him wake?”

 “Bilbo, we Dwarves love fiercely and jealously,” Balin said. “I know you know this. We would do all we can to protect our friends and family, but I don’t think you quite understand how that would affect romantic love.

“Because we are prone to love so deeply, we often only have one romantic relationship in our life. When you and Thorin agreed to court, it might not have been as great a thing for you, but for Thorin, it was…well, he had given you more than a braid and his devotion, it was his heart and his soul. All that he had to give was yours to keep.

“When you broke your courtship with him, you did more than break his heart. His body is treating it as if it were a physical injury. I can’t say why or how, but that’s the only thing I can think of that would explain why Thorin has yet to wake up even after all his injuries have healed.”

Bilbo blinked. “So…what? He can’t be in a coma because of a broken heart!”

“We don’t have any other theories that are as plausible.”

“There has to be a more plausible explanation. It can’t be because of me. Why would Thorin’s body think that he was in physical pain from a broken heart?”

“BECAUSE IT’S YOUR FAULT!” Dwalin bellowed, throwing Bilbo’s pack at him. Bilbo caught it, stunned at Dwalin’s outburst. “YOU BROKE HIS HEART! YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FIX IT!”

He set the bag down, meeting Dwalin’s glare with one of his own.

“Thorin broke my heart first, if you recall,” he snarled. “He held me over the ramparts threatening to drop me. He was going to kill me, Dwalin. Do you really think anyone would want to stay with another after that?”

“No, of course not,” Balin said. “Anyone would break a courtship after that. It’s a sensible thing to do. But Bilbo, our king is dying at this rate. We begged Lady Dis to allow you to try before giving up.”

“You know of Dis, don’t you?” Dwalin snarled. “Thorin’s little sister. Who he practically raised since Erebor fell to Smaug?”

Fili’s and Kili’s mother.

He had heard of her from both boys and Thorin.

“Please Bilbo, you’re our last chance to wake him,” Balin added. “I don’t want to give up hope until we have exhausted every possible alternative.”

Bilbo sighed.

“All right,” he said. “But not like last time. I need to prepare this time, or I’ll have my belongings swindled under me again – I’ll explain later. Just give me a week.”

“Time is against us,” Dwalin said.

“I understand that!” Bilbo snapped. “Last time I went off with you and the others, I came home to find I’d been declared dead and my home ransacked! I would like to prevent that this time around, if I may!”

“More than fair,” Balin said. “We’ll write to Lady Dis and let her know your decision.”

Bilbo nodded.

_What fresh madness have you gotten me into now, Thorin Oakenshield?_

#

He stared by visiting his cousin the Thain, Fortinbras Took. He explained the situation, as best he could though he himself didn’t entirely understand it.

From there, he drew up a will in the event of his never returning for whatever reason may come. He outlined a two years plan.

In the meantime, he appointed a younger cousin his steward – Drogo Baggins, son of Fosco Baggins, son of Largo Baggins – his grandfather’s younger brother.

Drogo had just come of age. He was a sensible youth, curious and studious both, though he had been expressing a need for independence separate from his parents. This would likely give it to him.

And in the end of the two-year period, if Bilbo did not return, all of Bag End and its possessions would be bequeathed to Drogo and any descendant of Drogo’s choosing, direct or otherwise.

Dodging the Sackville-Bagginses on the matter had been hard, as they believed that they ought to be chosen for the role, though Bilbo staunchly believed they were unfit to care for his home.

Knowing them, they’d likely find a way to have him declared dead again within the first six months.

That aside, preparing to leave went smoothly enough. He packed what he could, deciding not to be caught unawares this time around.

Three handkerchiefs.

A cloak.

Warmer clothes and spares.

All while dodging unwanted relatives, explaining to neighbors, and avoiding Dwalin’s dark glare.

At the end of the week, Bilbo handed Drogo the keys.

“Are you sure, Bilbo?” he asked, frowning. “I don’t feel I know what I’m doing.”

“You’ll manage. It won’t be hard, I promise. And you can ask your parents for whatever help you need if you find yourself needing it.”

Drogo nodded. “Take care, Bilbo.”

“And you as well. Don’t let Lobelia cause you mischief.” Drogo managed a smile at that.

“She likely will, but I’m sure I can handle that bitch if nothing else.”

Bilbo grinned. “Indeed, you will. I must be off. I’ll write and let you know my progress.”

“Please do.”

With that, he bid Drogo a final goodbye and mounted a pony, urging it into a gallop after Dwalin and Balin…

~Six Months Later~

Dis waited outside as a team of healer’s cleaned Thorin and his bedding. After that, they’d funnel broth down his throat, as they did three times a day to ensure he kept eating.

She hated watching this. She opted to leave her brother whatever dignity he may have left and let the healers do their job as effectively as they could.

He hated being perceived as weak.

He wasn’t weak. He never was.

Yet seeing him like this…

She hoped that Balin’s theory was true and that this Hobbit was the key to waking him up.

The doors opened, and the healers left. A couple maids walked by with the laundry – bed sheets and bed clothes. Oin followed them out and bowed to her.

“How is he?”

“The same, my lady,” he replied. “I’ll be back at the noon hour with the funnel.” Dis nodded, allowing Oin to leave and go where he is needed next. Dis entered the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

Thorin did not stir. He had not so much as twitched a finger. She spied the steady rise and fall of his chest, the only testament that he still lived. She sat at the edge of his bed and held his hand.

 _Nadad, please wake up_ , she thought. It was a prayer she uttered nigh daily. Dis kissed his forehead. They’d lost so many. Their grandfather. Their father. Their brother. Her husband.

She didn’t know if she could handle any more loss.

“Fili is meeting with Dain this week,” she said. “The Dwarves of the Iron Hills have just arrived this morning. The range has finished rebuilding and Kili has taken to training new archers.” Dis sighed. “Dwalin and Balin are almost home with the Hobbit. I expect they’ll be back today.”

Not even a twitch.

She was told this would help. Every healer she had brought – Oin, the Elves, even Men – all attested that if those he cared for kept talking to him, he may yet wake.

It was getting to the point of cruel, leaving him like this. It would be better to say their goodbyes and crown Fili officially King under the Mountain.

Balin had begged her to let him bring the Hobbit back and let him try. Dis allowed it reluctantly, knowing that it’d be some time before they returned with the Hobbit.

And that was if they convinced him to return at all.

She moved her hand to smooth his hair, brushing her fingers against the courtship braid. She frowned at it, hating it. She’d take it out for Thorin if not for Fili daring to order her not to do so.

_“He loved him, Amad. It would be cruel to take it out without his permission. Yes, I know that Bilbo removed his first, but…please, just leave it be.”_

“I know you’d probably be upset to hear me say it,” she said. “But as it is, I cannot bring myself to understand this love you and your foolish nephews have for this Hobbit. After all that you’ve gone through, how can I not but hate him?”

Still nothing.

“Why him, Thorin?” she asked. “I don’t understand. Why would you give yourself to an outsider?”

She didn’t know why she asked any questions knowing she’d never get an answer. Sighing, she picked up the saga she’d been reading him this time. She found her place and began to read.

#

Dwalin sent a runner to alert Fili of their return as Balin led Bilbo to the royal suite.

“Freshen up as much as you like,” he said. “I know you’ll want to rest, so go ahead and do so. We’ll bring you to Thorin in the morning.”

“I think it’d be best if I see him as soon as possible,” Bilbo decided. “Though, to be honest, I still don’t know how exactly I’m supposed to help him wake.”

“Well…I don’t know how wise that will be,” Balin said, scratching his neck. “Her highness likely will be there.”

Bilbo hummed. He could guess that Thorin’s sister didn’t think highly of him. If they blamed him for his condition, then he could see why she would likely despise him.

“I will still go to him. If you’ll show me where he is.”

“And perhaps act as buffer between you and his sister?”

“I already know she doesn’t like me,” he said. “And if she’s anything like Thorin, then…”

“Aye, I understand, laddie. How about you settle in and in a couple hours, I’ll come and get you so you can see him.”

Bilbo nodded.

“Bilbo!” He grunted, getting tackled and hugged. “You’re back!”

“Good to see you, too, Kili. Can you let go, please? I need to breathe.”

Kili let him go and pressed his forehead to his. “It’s good to see you.”

“I thought you’d be one of those who weren’t too keen on my return.”

“Some of us are cross, aye, but I’ve time to come to understand why. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. Have you seen Uncle, yet?”

“I was taking him to a room,” Balin said. “Let him get settled first.”

“Right! That would be wise. Has Fili been told?”

“Dwalin is on it.”

“And Amad?”

“She knows we’ll be back today,” Balin said.

“I’ll handle her,” he promised. “Get her away from Thorin’s bedside for a little while so Bilbo can see him alone. I don’t think it would do if she breathed down his neck the whole time.”

“Aye, that is true.”

Bilbo let them converse to look around. The halls were alit in crystal and candle light. The walls were covered in tapestries to lock in warmth. Kili at last went his way and Bilbo followed him further in.

He stopped at a door as it opened. A servant bowed, speaking rapidly in Khuzdul. Balin replied just as quickly and the Dwarf went on his way.

“Here you are, Bilbo,” he said, easing Bilbo inside. “Go ahead and settle in and I’ll come get you in a couple hours.”

Bilbo thanked him. Balin shut the door, leaving Bilbo alone in the large apartment. He had walked into what seemed to be a parlor room. He set his bag down and went to look around. He found a kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom. It wasn’t the size of Bag End, but it would do for someone of his size.

He made note to go to the market and set to making a list of new things he’d need.

Food.

Soap.

New clothes.

And that was just to start.

He didn’t think he’d be here for a year. Likely the Lady Dis wouldn’t give him that much time to try and wake her brother. He’d be shocked if she did.

And he had his doubts.

What if they were wrong?

What if Thorin never woke again?

He decided to see if there was a servant he could talk to and get directions to the market. He opened the door to see Fili.

“Oh!”

“Did I startle you?” Fili asked.

“Not terribly,” Bilbo assured him. “Come in.” And he did, even before Bilbo could finish the invitation. Fili seemed worn out. “Are you all right, Fili?”

“Depends on what you mean by all right,” he said, sitting in one of the chairs. Bilbo joined him, sitting in a chair opposite him. “You left without saying goodbye.”

Bilbo sighed. “I was not in the best of states at that time. I had to leave, and I feared the company would try to stop me.”

“Aye, we would have,” Fili agreed. “Thorin needed you, most of all.”

“After what he did to me, I couldn’t even look at him,” Bilbo snapped, frowning. “He tried to kill me, Fili. I couldn’t stay with him after that. Would you have stayed with a lover that dared to do what your uncle did to me?”

“No, I wouldn’t have. I do not blame you for ending your courtship. I am angry you left without a word, but I cannot hold you accountable for feeling a need to protect yourself. Tell me this, though: do you still feel fear in concern of Thorin?”

Bilbo shook his head. “No. I forgave him some time ago, and I know I was cruel leaving the way I did. In fact, before Balin and Dwalin showed up at my doorstep, I was considering rekindling my friendship with the company. Send some letters, explain my reasons for leaving and why I left without a word. I needed time and now I’ve had it. I never thought breaking my courtship would…”

Fili nodded. “I understand, Bilbo. I do.” He stood, making his way to the door. “I hope you can succeed where my brother, mother, and I could not.”

“So, do I,” Bilbo said. “But, Fili, keep in mind I might not be able to do anything for him.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

#

“Kili has managed to get Lady Dis away for a little bit,” Balin told him. “She’ll be gone the rest of the afternoon, if he’s succeeded.” He stopped outside a door and turned to Bilbo. “I do not know what will happen in there. I do not know if Thorin will wake or at least begin to wake. Just…for now, talk to him as if he were awake and just listening. That’s what we’ve all done, though we do not know if it helps…”

“I’ll do what I can,” Bilbo promised. “Just…please don’t get your hopes up, Balin.”

“I’ll try not to,” he said. “If you need anything, a servant or a guard will be glad to serve.” Bilbo nodded, and opened the door. There were healers within. They stared at him as he made his way to the bedroom. He wished they wouldn’t. The way they looked at him made him nervous. Oin was inside, pulling a funnel out of Thorin’s throat and mouth.

Bilbo did not exchange a word with him. What would he say?

When Oin left, barking orders at the others, Bilbo approached the bed, staring.

Thorin’s hair had lost a little more color, being more silver than before. He had also lost some of the tan he had from his wanderings. His beard had also grown out, now covering his neck, but not so long as to cover his sternum. He bit down whine seeing that the braid he had put in Thorin’s hair had remained.

Why?

Why would they have left it in?

Bilbo sat beside him. “Thorin?”

_I feel like a fool…_

“Thorin, it’s Bilbo. I’m back. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I came back.” He blinked back tears. “Thorin, I’m sorry. I was angry and heartbroken. How could I not be? You tried to kill me. I couldn’t stay after that. You understand that, don’t you?”

He took Thorin’s hand in his.

“I know you were not yourself, but that didn’t matter at the time we saw each other last. I couldn’t even look at you, Thorin. All I saw was the rage and all I felt was fear. I couldn’t stay, even if I still loved you, I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have been good for either of us. I would have always been looking over my shoulder, wondering if you’d snap again. That’s no way to live! And that would be just as cruel to you as it would have been to me. I thought if I left, you might…”

He swallowed. What did he think?

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect you’d be so brokenhearted that you’d fall into a coma. Bit overdramatic, isn’t it?” Bilbo closed his eyes and let his tears trail down his cheeks. “I don’t know what to say to help you wake up,” he said. “Do I say I love you still when I don’t know if I do? In a way, I always will love you. You changed me. I don’t know if I’ve changed for the better, but I certainly am not the same as I was before I met you.”

He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. “Please, wake up. Your family needs you. Your kingdom needs you.” He sighed. “I…oh…this is pointless!”

He dropped Thorin’s hand and stood.

The hand reached out and seized his wrist. It wasn’t hard or tight, but it was enough for Bilbo to start and back away into the wall.

The hand dropped back to the bed.

Bilbo half thought to shout for a healer to come and examine Thorin again, but…

He approached again, taking the hand in his. The fingers curled around.

Bilbo fell to his knees and kissed the hand.

He was waking.


	2. Chapter 2

The last thing he remembered…

He was in a tent.

Wounded, but he’d heal, eventually.

He was in too much pain to move well.

Bilbo was there, running his hand over the braid of intent he had put in several weeks ago. He told him he would leave.

He begged.

If he could, he’d kneel before his beloved.

He couldn’t. His wounds had left him weak.

Bilbo refused to look at him. He undid the braid and laid his bead on his chest. Then he walked away and out of the tent.

From there, everything went black…

He had his moments of consciousness. He heard his companions. His sister-sons. Even Dain. And then Dis.

He sometimes could feel.

A touch there.

A poke.

Something forced down his throat.

Warm water.

But then he’d drift back into darkness when he remembered Bilbo was gone…

He was regaining consciousness again. He heard Dis. She was telling him…

Something about Fili. And Dain.

Balin and Dwalin.

_I know you’d probably be upset to hear me say it, but as it is, I cannot bring myself to understand this love you and your foolish nephews have for this Hobbit. After all that you’ve gone through, how can I not but hate him?_

He wanted to wake. His body wouldn’t move, but it was able to recognize her voice. Able to recognize her anger and her despair…

He fell into the darkness again…

_Thorin, it’s Bilbo. I’m back. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I came back._

This was a trick.

It had to be a trick.

_Thorin, I’m sorry. I was angry and heartbroken. How could I not be? You tried to kill me. I couldn’t stay after that. You understand that, don’t you?_

He felt a hand take his own, gently squeezing it.

How long had he been asleep?

_I couldn’t stay, even if I still loved you, I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have been good for either of us._

He needed to touch him.

He needed to see him.

He needed to speak to him.

_…I would have always been looking over my shoulder, wondering if you’d snap again. That’s no way to live! And that would be just as cruel to you as it would have been to me. I thought if I left, you might…_

Thorin willed himself to take back control.

He needed to wake up.

_Well, I certainly didn’t expect you’d be so brokenhearted that you’d fall into a coma. Bit overdramatic, isn’t it?_

_I don’t know what to say to help you wake up._

_Do I say I love you still when I don’t know if I do?_

_In a way, I always will love you._

Thorin willed his body to obey.

He needed to let Bilbo know he was awake.

_You changed me. I don’t know if I’ve changed for the better, but I certainly am not the same as I was before I met you._

Bilbo was back.

There was hope.

_Oh, this is pointless!_

The hand holding his dropped.

**_NO!_ **

He felt his muscles obey. Felt his bones extend.

His fingers curled around Bilbo’s wrist – and Bilbo pulled away.

**_Come back. Please. I’m awake. I’m waking up. Amrâlimê, don’t leave me in the dark again…_ **

Two hands took his hand. He managed to squeeze back. He felt a press of lips to the back of his hand, followed by one to his forehead.

 _I need to get a healer_ , Bilbo said. _I’ll be right back. I promise._

#

Dis returned to the room as a small creature exited, shouting at a guard to fetch a healer. She guessed this was the Hobbit.

He was of a height with most Dwarves.

His hair was short, barely coming down to the base of his neck in bronze curls. Pointed ears poked between the hair.

Her eyes drew to his feet. They were the size of a Man’s and covered with bronze hair that matched the shade of his hair.

She looked up at him and cleared her throat.

The Hobbit spun to face her.

His hazel blue eyes widened slightly as they met each other’s gaze.

“So,” she began, trying to restrain the need to sneer. “You are the hobbit.”

“I am,” he greeted. He bowed. “Bilbo Baggins, at your service, Lady Dis.”

“How is my brother? Still the same?”

“No,” he admitted. He straightened his spine and met her gaze. “He’s waking up.”

Dis’ eyebrows shot up toward her hairline.

“I’m just as surprised. I had not hoped for any…”

“Master Baggins,” she said. “If you are lying to me…”

“I would not lie to you,” he snapped back, meeting her glare for glare. “He grabbed my arm. He isn’t wholly conscious yet, but he is starting to wake up.”

He let her enter the room and followed her back inside. Dis sat beside her brother and took his hand in her own.

“Nadad?” she whispered.

His hand squeezed hers and she exhaled shakily. She pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll be outside,” Bilbo told her, making a retreat. She did not dare to stop him.

She kissed Thorin’s hand, trying not to cry. The healers would be back soon, and she didn’t want them to see her tears. She stayed by his side a few minutes more.

“He’s got some nerve,” she said. “Your Hobbit. I don’t like him, still, but if you really are waking, Nadad, I may yet see what you and my sons do in him.”

That was all she could hope for regarding any sort of relationship with Bilbo, if there was any chance of a relationship of any sort.

Oin entered, ordering her and Bilbo out so he could examine Thorin. Back in the hallway, Bilbo shifted from foot to foot, nervous and awkward, as they waited.

“You are not required to stay,” Dis said.

Bilbo hummed. “In the hallway or in Erebor?”

Dis arched a brow at him. “Master Baggins, I will be honest with you. Given my brother’s current state over the last two years, I cannot say that I am particularly fond of you at all. If your presence in Erebor was left to me, I would have cast you out as soon as I could. As it is, I am not the regent in Thorin’s place. Fili is. So, your continued residence in Erebor is out of my hands.”

“I did not come to Erebor thinking you liked me in any degree,” Bilbo replied. “Granted, ‘not fond’ is significantly better than what I expected, my lady. I thought you loathed me enough that it was considered best if you and I never crossed paths. Your sons, Balin, and Dwalin thought that would be best if we never met. I think they were all afraid you might decide to hew me in half.”

“I am not so cruel as that. They thought you could help. I didn’t believe them, but we were at our wits end. If you were unsuccessful, we were going to let Thorin pass to the halls of our ancestors. I had feared making that decision and I am glad that I won’t have to now.”

Bilbo sighed. “I never thought this would happen, Lady Dis. I don’t suppose you know why I left.”

“The Arkenstone,” she said. “I was told you stole it from Thorin and gave it to the Men of Dale and the Elves of the Greenwood…well, Mirkwood. Though they would not like to call it that. My understanding is that it was done to attempt forcing Thorin’s hand and jolt him into being reasonable with our allies.”

“You know some of it, then,” Bilbo said. “Thorin tried to kill me instead. He was going to toss me from the battlement. Tell me, my lady, what would you have done if you were me? Could you forgive your husband for threatening your life? Would you be able to stay with him?

“Sure, I could have stayed, but if I stayed, I would never know what version of him waited behind every corner. I would not have been able to love him as I used to. Our relationship will always have that stain. I know he was ill, then. I know it wasn’t the Dwarf I loved that threatened me, but some sort of…shade that wore his face, had his voice…

“If I stayed, I would not have been able to love him as I had before. I needed to leave. I needed to go where I wouldn’t be afraid to leave my own house. I owed it to myself to feel safe and I thought that he’d be able to move on. Forget me and find someone who he could trust.

“I’m sorry that this is what happened by my leaving. I didn’t leave because I didn’t love him. I did. I still do. But can you understand why I left? Knowing what had almost happened? If he wakes…I’ll stay till then, but once he’s awake and we don’t have to be afraid of him going into a coma again, you won’t have to worry about me. I’ll go back West after that.”

Dis listened to his explanation in silence.

Why hadn’t anyone told her that? They never told her Thorin tried to kill him!

“No, I do not blame you for leaving. I was not told that Thorin had done that to you. I don’t know why they decided to withhold that information from me, and I will not presume to know why. Now that I do know, you are correct: I would not have stayed with my husband if I was in your place. Furthermore, I know Thorin would have killed him if he had ever dared.

“What I can say is this: my brother does not easily give someone his love. He would not have dared to hurt you in his right mind. Knowing what he wrought in his madness…it’s hard to see. I’ve known Thorin my whole life, so it’s hard to think of him threatening someone he loves like that. If that is what happened, then I am amazed you could return at all.”

Bilbo nodded. “Perhaps it was best if Thorin and I never met. I don’t know if he would feel the same, but I certainly thought that for some time. And at the same time, I don’t know if I would like who I would become if I never met him. Whatever you may think of me, my lady, I did love him.”

Oin and his team stepped out, he was grinning.

“His majesty is waking. It won’t be too much longer now. He will have trouble moving for a while once fully awake, but I think we can hope for a full recovery.”

Dis nodded, still wanting to appear unflappable in front of her brother’s subjects. “Excellent,” she said. “Is it all right for us to go back inside or have you more tests you wish to run?”

“No, no,” Oin assured her. “My tests are done for now. And I think it’d be best if he wasn’t left alone until we know more. Though, I was thinking, my lady, perhaps you should let his highness know. I think Prince Fili would like to know that the king is waking. As would Lord Dain.”

Dis arched a brow at that and frowned. She also ignored the wink Oin sent to Bilbo.

“If you insist,” she said. “But I do not want the Hobbit with him alone.”

Bilbo stared at her, a little shocked. She might understand why he left to begin with and why he ended his courtship with Thorin, but she still didn’t like him and was still far too reluctant to trust him.

“My apprentice will stay behind, then,” Oin promised.

“Very well.”

#

Once Dis and Oin had gone around the corner, Bilbo glanced at Oin’s apprentice, who avoided looking at him. He went back inside and sat beside Thorin again, holding his hand. Thorin’s fingers curled around his own…

_They stayed in Beorn’s house, needing to recover from their injuries gained in the Goblin tunnels._

_Bilbo found some leaf good for smoking and had taken to drying some of it out while Bofur made new pipes for those who needed them._

_Most of the company smoked, after all, and it wouldn’t do not to have even a little bit of something that would help ease their tension._

_“Master Baggins.”_

_Bilbo looked up from his work and smiled._

_“Well, you seem better than before,” he said._

_Thorin arched a brow at him and Bilbo cleared his throat._

_“No bruises.”_

_“Oh. Yes. I’m mostly healed now. Oin’s figured I’m well enough to stretch my legs if nothing else.”_

_“Good,” Bilbo said. “Very good.”_

_Thorin did not move from where he stood, staring at Bilbo. Bilbo cleared his throat again._

_“Is there something I can do for you, Thorin? Do you need to smoke? Only the leaves won’t be ready for some time yet. They aren’t dried out enough for that yet. But I think Bofur’s got a few new pipes ready.”_

_“You think I am craving leaf?”_

_“Why else would you still be here, then.”_

_Thorin stepped closer and Bilbo stood, if only to at least meet him at full height, though Thorin would still tower over him by at least a foot._

_“I am here because I wish to speak with you,” Thorin said. “Yet as always I am at a loss how to even do that.”_

_“What? Talking to me? I’m quite easy to talk to. Why would that be hard for you?”_

_Thorin swallowed, eyes flitting over Bilbo’s face, as if memorizing it. He reached out and pulled Bilbo back into his arms and sighed. Bilbo felt Thorin relax._

_“It is you,” he heard him whisper._

_“Me?” Bilbo asked, pushing away from Thorin, holding him at arm’s length. “What do you mean? Thorin just tell me.”_

_“I do not expect someone who is not a Dwarf to understand,” he said._

_“Well, try to explain it to me in a way that I will be able to, then.”_

_“My people are passionate. You know this.”_

_Bilbo nodded. They were maddeningly dramatic, too, so deep was their passion._

_“And you are aware that this passion is directed into all that we do.”_

_Again, Bilbo nodded._

_“That same passion, that drive, also can be directed toward one whom we will give our heart to, the one person we will love with all that we are. Romantically. Sexually, if it is wanted. I have felt it was you when I met you that night in your house.”_

_Bilbo blinked at him, startled. “Wait. What?” No. That can’t be right. “You’re in love with me?”_

_Thorin nodded stiffly._

_“But that can’t be right!” Bilbo cried. “You’re a king!”_

_“How does my station in life have anything to do with whether or not you are my One?” Thorin asked. “I know my heart and my mind. Would it be easier to accept if I were nothing more than as I am? My heart is yours, Master Baggins.”_

_Bilbo swallowed. “I…well…”_

_But Thorin had often been cruel to him._

_Was he holding back all this since they met?_

_Bilbo never denied his own attraction to Thorin. He never admitted it to anyone, either._

_Still, Thorin confessing his love for him_ to _him was not something Bilbo ever thought to expect, let alone hope for._

_“I’m not royal. Nor am I a Dwarf. I’m not even a burglar or a warrior or whatever Gandalf’s convinced you all I am. I never thought to even hope you’d prefer males, either. And even if I had known you did, I’d never have guessed you’d want me.”_

_“I do,” Thorin assured him. “More than anything.”_

_Bilbo doubted that, but wisely kept it to himself._

_“Would you kiss me, then?” he asked. “And teach me how to court a Dwarf properly. I’ve a feeling it’ll be hard to do the sort of things my people are used to doing –”_

_Thorin moved his hand to Bilbo’s cheek and leaned down, cutting him off before he could ramble on any further. Bilbo gasped, eyes widening._

_He hadn’t expected Thorin to grant his request, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t glad for it. Bilbo responded, running his hands through Thorin’s hair…_

Back then, everything seemed to be getting better between them.

It was summer still.

Late summer, but still bright and hot.

Thorin had been attentive in those days they spent at Beorn’s. He was a gentle lover then. Eager to please and unburdened.

It couldn’t last, of course.

Once they entered the forest, things started to get worse. Frustration overcame them all. Bilbo didn’t hold Thorin accountable for their troubles then. He was just as responsible for them.

It’s not easy to court someone when they’re locked in an Elven King’s dungeon.

Still, they tried.

That was all they could do, after all.

Things were starting to get better once they had arrived in Laketown. Thorin braided his hair then after they’d had the moment to be together again. From there, things started to go terribly wrong.

They reached the mountain.

They battled Smaug, inadvertently sending him on his rampage to Laketown.

Thorin succumbed to the Gold Madness and the transformation from kind, gentle, and attentive to hard and possessive struck Bilbo as if Thorin had backhanded him unprovoked.

Bilbo barely had a moment to himself. Thorin would keep him close. His kisses became a brand, his touch rough and uncaring.

Bilbo tried to remind himself that this wasn’t his Thorin. It looked like him. Had his voice. But it wasn’t him.

Then there were moments when he had his beloved back and he thought it’d be all right. He could live with it. Perhaps be able to help him see reason.

But knowing that Thorin would only get worse if he had the Arkenstone…

Bilbo decided to make a risky gamble. He was certain that, even if he did give the stone to Thorin’s “enemies,” Thorin would still see reason.

 _More than anything_.

He had been such a fool to believe that.

Thorin had seized him, nearly choking him, shaking him, threatening to kill him. Even going as far as actually holding him over the wall, dangling hundreds of feet in the air.

Bilbo was never one to feel fear. Not really. He was half Took. Tooks were fearless to a fault. It was what made them _Tooks_.

But he was afraid in that moment.

In the end, he was not dropped, but he knew that even if he could forgive Thorin, he could not stay with him. Not after that.

He exhaled.

“I’ll be here until you wake, Thorin. I’ll be here when you open your eyes.”

#

Fili dismissed the court early, rushing to Thorin’s bedside.

Bilbo was still there, holding Thorin’s hand.

“Is it true?” he asked. Bilbo looked at him and nodded.

“Oin checked him over. He’s waking up.”

Fili came to his side and collapsed, weeping. Bilbo did not look at him, giving him any privacy that he could without leaving Thorin’s side.

“I’ll leave you be,” Bilbo said, standing.

“Bilbo, don’t,” Fili pleaded. “You should be the first he sees when he opens his eyes.”

“I don’t think that’d be for the best.” Bilbo scratched the back of his head. “If I understand right, he’s in a coma because of me. Your mother isn’t likely to let me stay around once he’s opened his eyes anyway.”

He knew she hated Bilbo. He and Kili had tried to help her understand that Bilbo had not known this would happen to Thorin. Besides, Thorin’s condition was his own doing.

“I think it would make him happy.”

“I’m not saying it wouldn’t,” Bilbo said. “But you don’t know that.”

“I _do_ , though. You’re his One, Bilbo. You’re the only one he’ll want to see when he wakes. He’s waking up because of you.”

“He also went into a coma because of me,” Bilbo reminded him. “It’d be best if he saw people who loved him regardless of all that happened. You and Kili and your mother. He’ll want his family most.”

“And you don’t think you are his family?”

“I can’t be that for him, Fili,” Bilbo sighed. “You should have taken that out when you realized I left.”

He motioned to the braid still woven in Thorin’s hair. Fili grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t. It’s all he has left that is yours. I know he hurt you, Bilbo, but it wasn’t him.”

“It _was_ him. I know he was not in his right mind, but it _was_ Thorin, in the end. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. Just around the mountain if need be, but…”

He fell silent and pulled his hand free from Fili, letting it fall to his side. “He hasn’t lost you completely,” Fili said. “You wouldn’t have come back if he did. You wouldn’t have cared what happened to him.”

Bilbo sighed, massaging his forehead.

“I don’t know about that, Fili, but I do know that I’d be hard pressed to do anything more than be his friend again. After everything that happened between us, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him as I once did. I know what I would like, as much as anyone else, but I don’t think that would be…best.”

He let go of Thorin’s hand. The fingers stretched for him and Thorin groaned.

Still his eyes did not open.

Bilbo stood. “I’m going to go back to my new house,” he said.  “And get some rest. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Very well,” Fili said. “Bilbo, you’re welcome to stay in Erebor as long as you like. Don’t let my mother scare you away, all right?”

Bilbo smiled gently at him. “I think I can handle your mother well enough, Fili. And thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Once a week, the companions of Thorin Oakenshield’s Company would meet at either Bombur’s restaurant or Dori’s tea shop. This week, they met at the tea shop at one of the long tables where large parties would meet.

Fili and Kili were usually too busy with their duties as princes to attend, but Balin always kept them informed and relayed their own thoughts to the others.

Now that their king was starting to wake, Dori had thought it a good idea to plan a small get together with everyone. Most of the Mountain was in the wake of celebrating the king’s revival.

The only problem:

Bilbo.

What would happen after Thorin woke? Would he leave again?

They all cared for their Hobbit, of course, and understood why he left the way he had. He had every right to break his courtship with Thorin after all that happened between them.

Many, whether Dwarf or not, broke courtships for less.

Dori knitted as the group debated how best to convince Bilbo to at least stay permanently. Lady Dis had no love for Bilbo, so that would be a problem in finding a way to convince him.

Dori kept it to himself that if it had been one of his brothers in Thorin’s place, he probably would have hated Bilbo, too. They wouldn’t want to hear that.

He was rather protective of his younger brothers, though.

Nori was always the sort to get into a scrap, so while he and Dori never really got along…well, Nori was his brother. Not his baby brother, but still.

Ori, though, was the quiet one. Cautious and gentle. Unassuming. Lad was stronger and fiercer than he let on. Eager for glory, as a youth was.

Dori and Nori both agreed that he needed to be watched, though he was getting to an age where he wasn’t going to need either of his brothers watching out for him anymore.

“What did Bilbo do back in the Shire?” Bofur asked. “He could continue it here.”

“Bilbo’s a lord,” Balin said. “Though I think Hobbits value these things differently.”

“A lord?!” Gloin barked. “Never would’ve thought!”

“Again, Hobbits value it differently. He likely wouldn’t go around calling himself that.”

“No, he wouldn’t,” Dwalin agreed. “He’s scholarly-type. Might like it in the library or on the council.”

“Lady Dis might not take kindly to him on the council,” Ori said sadly. “Which is too bad, he’d do well there, I think. I could try to see if there’s a way to get him a job at the library, but given he’s not a Dwarf and most of our tomes are in Khuzdul…”

That would be a problem.

Without Thorin’s permission, and the permission of the other Six Dwarf Lords – the descendants of the Seven who were first crafted by Mahal – he wouldn’t be allowed to learn Khuzdul.

“What about the texts we have that are _not_ in Khuzdul?” Balin asked. “He’s fluent in Sindarin and Quenya, isn’t he? He could translate those for us into Common, and another could translate it into Khuzdul. He could also give us a vast library of Hobbit culture. I think they’ve only gotten a couple very out of date books in Rivendell.”

“One thirteenth of the gold in the treasury is his,” Gloin reminded them. “If he never wanted to work again, he certainly could. Most of us only work now because we’d be climbing the walls with boredom if we didn’t do something.”

Dori sipped his tea.

“Perhaps we should talk to Bilbo about it,” Bofur asked. “Have a party for him to welcome him back, of course, with plenty of food and drink. It’d be a way to loosen him up a bit and ask him what he wants to do while he’s here.”

“It could be at Bombur’s,” Oin said.

“I think Bilbo would prefer it here,” Nori pointed out. “Hobbits, you know, love their tea. Make it stuffily appropriate for him. Dori would be in his element, too.”

Dori glared at him. “I’m not that bad.”

Nori and Ori burst into unrestrained laughter.

“You _are_ that bad!” Ori shouted.

Nori was laughing too hard to respond, wiping his eyes of tears. “Whoo! That’s a good joke, Dori!”

 _Well, that’s little brothers for you_ , Dori thought.

“I do like the idea of having a party for him,” Balin said. “And seeing what he thinks. Most of us haven’t seen him. I think it’s just the princes, myself, Dwalin, and Oin who have seen him so far.”

“What?” Oin asked, pointing his ear trumpet toward Balin.

“Never you mind, brother,” Gloin said, patting his shoulder.

Oin shrugged and went back to his cake.

“I agree with Balin and Bofur but would prefer it at Bombur’s,” Gloin continued. “Make it a proper dinner party, you know. Not a tea time thing with these fragile little things.” He held up his tea cup.

“Oi, those are porcelain!” Dori shouted. “Be careful with them!”

“How often do they need to be replaced?” Gloin asked with an arched brow.

Well, he had a point.

“Fine, with that in mind, and knowing this lot, Bombur’s would be more appropriate.”

“Well, that’s agreed, then,” Balin said, taking note of the location they’d have their welcome-back-party for Bilbo. “Now when and what time.”

“Dinner time, of course.”

“But Hobbits have _two_ dinners. One in the early evening and another that’s two or three hours before ten at night,” Ori said. “So, we have to be sure which one we mean.”

Ah.

Good point.

“First dinner?” Bofur asked.

“Is that what it’s called?” Dwalin asked.

“Whatever Hobbits call the earlier dinner will do, I think. That way we all have food and we don’t have to worry about being too late for work in the morning,” Dori said.

The others glared at him.

Of course, he would mention work the next day.

“So…five o’clock at Bombur’s,” Balin said, redirecting their attention. “Preferably on a day where we won’t have to work the next day.”

“Friday!” several voices called out.

Balin looked around to make sure that worked for everyone before writing it down.

“Friday, five o’clock, at Bombur’s restaurant,” he concluded. “I’ll let Bilbo know.”

“Oi! Why does it have to be you?!”

“Most of us haven’t seen him yet!”

“Everyone’s going to see him on Friday. That’s three days from now so quit your whining,” Dwalin pointed out before they got too rowdy. Balin nodded at him in thanks.

“Bilbo also needs to get finished settling in,” Balin reminded him. “Let him get a little more comfortable in his new home before we barge in on his peace.”

Dori couldn’t say no to that. Bilbo likely was already having a hard time as it was, given the royal family. He hoped not too hard, though.

#

Ori could usually be found in the library.

It was his sanctuary, so for it to be his profession as well suited him. He was most comfortable around books and scrolls.

Dwalin didn’t think he’d ever get used to that, but that was what made Ori happiest.

What made Ori happy made him happy, so he couldn’t complain if he spent more time in the library than was usual for him.

The library would be closing soon, though, and sometimes Ori lost track of time. And when he lost track of time, Dwalin knew that he’d likely get locked in before realizing it and would have to camp out there again. The library wasn’t the most comfortable place.

He found Ori returning a stack of tomes to their proper place. He wrapped his arms around the smaller Dwarf’s waist and kissed his neck.

“You’re distracting me again.”

“Time to go home, _amrâlimê_.”

“Is it?” Ori glanced around, searching for the clock. He hummed, realizing Dwalin was right. “So it is. Just let me finish this up and we can go. Shouldn’t be too long.”

Dwalin kissed him again and released him, letting Ori complete his task and get his satchel.

Dwalin propped his feet on the table as he waited, picking dirt from under his finger nails. His boots were swatted with Ori’s satchel.

“Are you trying to get kicked out?” Ori hissed.

He’d be louder if they weren’t in the library.

Dwalin shrugged. “We need to leave soon anyway.” Ori pulled him out of the chair.

“And we are leaving, but must you put your dirty feet on the tables?”

“My feet are fine,” Dwalin pointed out. “My boots are what’s dirty.”

“I’ve smelled your feet,” Ori stated. “They reek. So, whether they are bound in your boots or not, they are dirty.”

“They’re not that stinky…”

“I’m gagging even thinking about it,” Ori said, grinning at him.

Dwalin glowered at Ori.

“I love you, stinky feet and all.”

“Sure, you do.”

Ori kissed his cheek. “I swear I’m only teasing, _amrâlimê._ Promise. You don’t smell as bad as you might think.” Dwalin opened the library’s door for them. Once in the hallway, he wrapped his arm around Ori’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“You’re annoying, you know.”

“Yet you love me anyway,” Ori replied, beaming up at him. “Good thing, too. I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes.”

Dwalin didn’t even like to think of what would happen if he lost Ori. He didn’t think he’d fall into a coma as Thorin had.

Thorin’s situation was unique in that sense. Having gone into a coma for actual physical injuries and then refusing to wake because his One was not there with him.

Never did anything by halves, Thorin. Nope. Never.

Even so, he’d not be the same without Ori by his side. It wasn’t right knowing Ori feared the same, even if he admitted it in a way that seemed lighthearted. He was the younger of them. He had a whole life still to live.

Sometimes Dwalin thought he was holding Ori back.

(Dori and Nori certainly thought so…)

He wanted to reassure Ori that he wouldn’t lose him. Except he couldn’t make that promise.

He was a warrior.

A soldier.

It was his duty and his calling to fight for his king.

To protect the royal family, even if it cost him his life.

Instead of making a promise he knew he couldn’t keep, Dwalin kissed Ori.

“I don’t smell that bad,” he growled.

“Damn it, Dwalin, let it go!” Ori laughed, wiggling out of Dwalin’s embrace, jogging a couple steps away and staying just out of reach. “I really was just teasing. I like your scent. Really.”

“Fine. I’ll drop it.”

“Good. Now, let’s go home.”

#

Gloin found Gimli on the training field.

Lad was getting better and stronger each day. Some thought he might take Dwalin’s place someday, but Gloin wasn’t so sure. His lad was strong, but Dwalin wasn’t likely to retire any time soon.

Fili knocked Gimli to his feet, pressing the blade against his cousin’s neck.

Gimli glowered at him but yielded all the same.

Fili sheathed his blade and helped Gimli up, giving him a couple pointers in how to improve, latching his arm around Gimli’s neck playfully.

“Fili, stop!”

“Never,” Fili said, rubbing his knuckles over Gimli’s head.

Gimli pulled free and fixed his mused hair, glowering darkly at the prince. Likely he’d love nothing more than to knock Fili off his feet and pummel him to the ground, but rank stayed his hand.

Fili grinned at Gloin. “How was tea?”

“Well,” he said. “You’ll get more details from Balin, later.”

“I’ll be sure to see him, then,” he said.

Gimli stood by Gloin, arms crossed sullenly over his chest as they conversed.

He was still sour from being left out of the quest two years ago unlike his age mates.

Not that one could really call Ori and the sons of Dis his age mates. They all had at least a decade on him, and all had reached their age coming.

Still, there were some sour feelings left from him staying behind. It wasn’t like he was the only youth forced to stay home with his mother.

Bombur’s eldest was a little older than Gimli and had to stay behind as well.

“Make sure Kili’s aware, too. He’ll be cross at being left out. Don’t scoff, Gimli. This isn’t a quest or adventure. It’s a dinner party. So long as you act your age you can come, too.”

“I act my age!” Gimli declared, affronted.

Gloin arched a brow at that. He’d believe it when he saw it. He loved the lad dearly, but Gimli sometimes was a volatile spirit and prone to rages.

Kara blamed Gloin for that, saying that Durin blood ran hotter than wild fire.

“We should go before Kara decides to come looking for us both,” Gloin said.

“Give her my greetings. Same time tomorrow, Gimli.”

“I’ll be there, Fili.”

Gloin cleared his throat. Gimli rolled his eyes.

“I mean, _my lord_.”

“I’m sorry he makes you say that. It doesn’t feel right between kin.”

“Yet what would your uncle expect?” Gloin asked.

“That’s different and you know it!” Fili snapped.

“Keep telling yourself that, lad. Gimli.”

Gimli bowed to Fili before following Gloin out of the training fields. “So…I can meet the Halfling?”

“Hobbit,” Gloin corrected. “And yes. This weekend the company will have a dinner. So long as you behave yourself, I don’t see any reason not to exclude you, but I am warning you: one more explosion…”

“One time! Fifteen years ago! Will you let it go?!”

“You almost burned down the entire market. It could have destroyed all of Ered Luin!”

“With Kili and Fili. It was their idea.”

“I don’t care whose idea it was in the first place. It was stupid and I remain embarrassed by your participation in it.”

“I’m willing to get over it and let bygones be bygones. You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Adad,” Gimli said.

Gloin would retaliate, but on further thought he realized Gimli was right.

It was the stupidest thing his son had ever done.

He wasn’t a fool by nature, but in the spirit of wanting to be included he might have done things by Fili’s and Kili’s urging that he, normally, wouldn’t have dared attempt.

Granted, Gimli did have a…

How did Kili put it?

A “Little shit” tendency.

Sometimes he’d do things that were only funny to him but annoying to others. Gloin hoped Gimli would grow out of that before he came of age, but somehow, he guessed that would be hopeful thinking.

At least Gimli would never _not_ be entertained.

#

Bombur made a list of what he could make for the upcoming party.

Knowing the company, it’d be best to keep it light on the vegetables, heavy on the meat and carbs. Plenty of ale and beer to go around. Sweets for dessert afterward.  And tea.

Though he supposed the sweets and the tea were more Dori’s forte anyway. He wasn’t against working with the other chef among the company.

Bombur wasn’t a Dwarf of many words, but he was an excellent observer. And while he wasn’t one to speak it, he did have his own opinion to what had transpired between Bilbo and Thorin.

After much thought, he supposed Bilbo had only meant to distance himself for a little while. Given all that had happened what with Thorin’s gold madness…

Yes, he understood Bilbo’s need to separate from the situation he and Thorin had gotten themselves into. At the same time, he did think Bilbo was too hasty in leaving Thorin as he had.

They didn’t know if the King would have survived, after all.

Still what could they do but hope Thorin would wake someday.

And soon.

He was waking up.

All who lived in Erebor knew that now.

But what would happen once he did?

Would Bilbo leave again?

Or would he stay, just to be certain Thorin never slipped into a coma again?

Whatever choice Bilbo made, Bombur already decided to support. He missed Bilbo. He hadn’t a friend here that really understood his love for food – both in the preparation and in the consumption.

“Bombur, catch!”

He turned in time to see a cracker flying at him. He caught it and arched a brow at Bofur. “Don’t you think we’re getting too old for that?”

Bofur slapped his chest, faking injury. “Oof! Bifur! Help! Bombur’s thinking!”

Yep. That’s his brother. The joker.

“What would you think of a ham dinner for the party?” he asked instead. “Or should we go for steak?”

“Ooh…steak or ham? You’re asking _me_ if I think we’d all rather have steak or ham?”

“Well I certainly can’t choose.”

“Ham,” Bifur said, “That’s my vote.”

Bombur nodded, deciding ham was as good as anything. Glazed in honey sauce. With a side of baby potatoes fried in butter and garlic. And cooked green beans and asparagus on the side…

“Thanks, Cousin,” Bombur said, making some notes on what would work. “You are better help than Bofur is any day.”

Bifur laughed and Bofur complained.

Since getting his axe removed, Bifur’s ability to speak Common returned. Of course, Oin constantly looked at him in case things started to go wrong. It was a worry when the axe came out.

More so after the battle.

But as it is, Bifur seemed to be doing better without it and the scar had healed nicely enough. There were a couple times early on where he acted as if the axe had never come out.

Almost as if he had forgotten he didn’t have it anymore.

Still, those moments were few and he was certainly happier without it.

“How about chocolate for after,” Bofur said. “Everyone likes chocolate.”

Actually, there were a few – a strange, select few – who did not enjoy it. Some thought it too bitter, but Bombur knew how to mix the cocoa and the sugar enough to make it just sweet enough to be enjoyable.

“Cake,” Bombur decided. “Chocolate cake with strawberry filling. And chocolate frosting.”

“Ooh, now I’m getting hungry.”

“I think Dori has a fruity tea that would be a good pairing for that,” Bombur added.

“The genius is at work,” Bofur declared.

Bombur beamed at him. “I’ve lots to do for that dinner, I’ll have you know. So do me a favor and get these from the market.” He handed Bofur the list.

“Why me?” Bofur whined.

“I’ve got a kitchen to clean and a fire to build up, Bofur.”

“Just do it,” Bifur snapped at him. “As you said: the genius is at work.”

#

Most thought that Kili was the more foolish one of the company of Thorin Oakenshield. That was true, but he liked to think he had his moments where his foolishness seemed rather clever. Most of the time, his antics would brighten up Thorin’s day, bringing a smile to his usually somber uncle’s face.

And in those moments, everything would be all right.

“You and Thorin are more like father and son than uncle and nephew,” his mother complained more than once. “Which, given I’m quite certain you came out of my womb, lad, makes me worry.”

“Then stop saying that!” Thorin had snapped. “I think I’d know if I ever dared go near you like that. Adad would have tanned my hide if I was lucky and I think I’d have gauged my eyes out. You’re hideous.”

Amad would smack him then, but they’d be smirking at each other in a way that suggested they were only jesting. Some supposed that Fili and Kili were too immature. Given how their mother and Thorin interacted, they thought they were far more mature than they were given credit for.

When they met Bilbo that night in the Shire, he knew that he was his Uncle’s One. He had seen joy, admiration, pride, sorrow, and anger on his uncle’s face many times in his life. He had never seen Thorin look at anyone the way he looked at Bilbo.

Kili had took to observing Thorin when he was around Bilbo. Which was constant throughout the journey. As though he was almost hovering. Bilbo might’ve translated Thorin’s outbursts for anger or hate, but Kili knew it was worry.

When they thought Bilbo had left or died in the Goblin Tunnels, Thorin’s outburst was less his true thoughts and more a lie he was telling himself. Bilbo wasn’t the sort to abandon them. Perhaps attempting to convince himself that he _was_ , was Thorin’s way of forcing himself to move onward.

When they stood on the Carrock, Kili had long figured out that Thorin was in love. He liked Bilbo enough and knew he’d like to see his uncle happy. And Bilbo made him happier than Kili had ever seen Thorin.

When they started courting, Kili had rejoiced. Thorin wasn’t as tense or as strict with any of them. Still demanding order, of course. Kili knew that the quest was perilous and that Thorin felt tremendous pressure to keep everyone alive as well as get them to the mountain.

Kili knew he hadn’t been much help at times.

The trolls. That was stupid. He and Fili wanted to prove themselves. They still wanted to prove themselves to their Uncle. They wanted to be the heirs the Sons of Durin deserved…

Now?

Well, when they woke from their comas two months after the battle to find that Thorin still slept, though he was healed enough to wake…

Kili had been afraid. He hid it, but he had been afraid the whole two years since his Uncle fell into his coma. And even though Thorin was waking up at last, he was still afraid.

He needed to convince Bilbo to stay and forgive Thorin. He didn’t know what he’d do if Thorin woke only to find that Bilbo would not stay. He’d be heartbroken all over again and if that happened, Thorin might fall into a coma again and then he might not wake up.

All this he laid bare before his uncle, still trapped in his sleep. Kili knew he was listening. His eyes shifted under his shut eyelids and his hand squeezed Kili’s. He groaned, as though he wanted to speak.

“I just don’t know what to do to convince Bilbo to stay after you wake up. Or how I’m going to convince Amad to let him stay,” he said. Thorin’s finger twitched in his grasp. Kili looked at his face, checking to see if there’s any more change.

He grinned. Thorin was blinking, staring at the ceiling.


	4. Chapter 4

Three days ago, Thorin woke. He was laying on his back, staring at the high stone ceiling. Crystals shone with candlelight to brighten the room.

Kili peered over him.

“Uncle?”

He had tried to speak, but all he could manage was something akin to a gasping wheeze. It was enough for Kili, though, who promised to return.

From there, Oin had a merry old time poking and prodding him.

His voice was hoarse from his time comatose, yet, though quite heavy, he could manage to lift his arms and get his point across in Iglishmek when his throat ached from overuse.

He could not walk yet. Oin was coming up with ways to help him regain his strength as he focused on at least being able to sit up and eat by himself.

Dis would help, him get comfortable, propping pillows up behind him for support.

“At least we don’t have to force feed you now,” Dis said the morning of the third day.

That was true, but Thorin just rolled his eyes as he ate a light broth with bread to strengthen his jaws.

“Would you like me to take this out?”

“What?” he asked, voice raspy and barely above a whisper.

“The courting braid,” she clarified. “Your Hobbit broke off your relationship, so it would be remiss to leave it in.”

True.

Thorin reached for it, feeling the weave and the bead holding it in place.

_“I can’t stay where I am not safe!” Bilbo shouted, pulling the courtship bead free. “I’m sorry, Thorin, but you tried to kill me. How can I believe a word you say?”_

_Bilbo placed the bead on Thorin’s sternum._

_“Keep it. Give it to someone who you won’t feel a need to threaten.”_

“Where is he?”

“Who? The Hobbit?”

“Yes. He is still here, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” Dis said. Thorin ignored how she seemed to snarl at the mere mention of Bilbo. “He’s still here. I take it you want to see him.”

Want? Well, yes. He wanted to, but more than that, he needed to. Still, he left it at a nod and let her send a guard to bring him.

“I want you to leave,” he enunciated.

Dis frowned. “I’m not leaving him alone with you.”

“I am the one who hurt him. He won’t do anything to me.”

“He’s the reason you’d been in a coma for two years!” she shouted. He glared at her, unimpressed. “I don’t like him, Thorin. How can I when he broke your heart? You almost died because of him.”

“There were many days in my life where I ‘almost died,’” he reminded her. “Bilbo is blameless in what led to my coma. No one could have guessed that my body would treat my heartache as if it were a physical ailment. Least of all myself. I would never have thought it possible until now. I want to talk to him, and I will do so _alone_.”

Dis huffed and seemed as though she’d like nothing more than to retaliate. When Bilbo arrived, she strode out of the room angrily.

“Forgive her,” Thorin said. “She doesn’t know you well enough to judge you.”

“I know she’s protective of you and her sons,” Bilbo said. “So, given what happened to you, I don’t blame her for being cross or cold with me. But I don’t think you asked me here to discuss your sister’s attitude, Thorin.”

He nodded, staring at his hands. Hands he had used to drag Bilbo to rampart, intending to throw him over. Thorin sighed.

“I need to apologize properly, if nothing else,” he said. “I know I have wronged you that day. Madness or not, I should never have…I love you, Bilbo, with all that I am. I was weak. I had hoped to be stronger than my grandfather, but even then…even then I can’t…I don’t think that he’d ever harm his One, my grandmother, no matter how far he fell into his madness. You had every right and reason to break our courtship after I tried to kill you.”

Bilbo sat on the end of the bed, by Thorin’s knees.

“I have apologies to make, as well. I never wanted you to go into a coma and I am sorry for my part in that. I don’t know if my leaving you had played a part in it or not. Balin seems to think so, but to be honest, I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure. I do know this: I needed time away after what you did to me during your madness.”

Thorin chilled. “I don’t recall much. I remember…being obsessed with you. More than before. Did I…” he swallowed. “Did I assault you? In a sexual manner, I mean.”

“No,” Bilbo said. “You were rougher with me, in a way, but you never attempted to hurt me. Except for that. I can’t deny that you scared me, in that time. I mean…quests aren’t exactly compatible for courtships of any sort. And couples have broken a courtship for less. If I stayed with you after what happened, well…I would never be sure if I really did love you or if I was under the thrall of captive’s sickness or if I was staying because I was afraid of you as I would never know what version of you I’d come home to.”

“You didn’t feel safe with me,” Thorin said. “I remember you said that.”

“I did. I loved you, but I needed to protect myself.”

“I understand that, I do. I don’t blame you for leaving me, knowing that. Even if you forgive me, I can’t forgive myself. I love you, yet I hurt you, so…”

Thorin clutched his throat, swallowing. Bilbo stood and poured a glass of water for him.

“Here. Drink. We can talk later, all right? Focus on getting better for now. I won’t be leaving Erebor yet, so everything we need to get off our chests will get their chance.”

Thorin took the glass and sipped carefully, so not to accidently choke himself.

“I’m sure the rest of the company will visit soon enough,” Bilbo said. “Everyone’s worried about you, Thorin, and glad that you’re awake.”

“I would like to see them, too,” Thorin said. He took another sip, hating how dry his throat felt.

Bilbo reached into his pocket and stared at his watch.

“I’m meeting the others for dinner, so I should get going soon, but I’ll let them know you’re well and would like to see them.”

Thorin nodded. “Would you come back tomorrow?” he asked.

“Of course,” Bilbo said. He stood. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he left. Thorin knew he wasn’t walking out of his life again.

Yet…

 _Please forgive me, Ghivashel_ , he wanted to shout.

He wished his legs would obey him, follow Bilbo, wrap him in his arms and never let go.

#

“I’ll arrange it, Laddie,” Balin promised, patting Bilbo’s shoulder. “Anything else I should know?”

“Oh, uh, well, he does want me to visit him again tomorrow and I said I would, but I don’t know when I’ll have time or if Lady Dis will allow it.”

“You’ll go,” Fili said, “And Kili and I can handle our mother.”

“She’s a meeting with the weaver’s guild at eleven,” Kili added. “She’ll be there for a couple hours. Plenty of time for you to see Thorin.”

“Granted, he might want longer than that,” Fili pointed out.

“True…”

Bilbo sighed.

“I don’t think I can do more than a little bit at a time right now,” he admitted. “I wish I could say otherwise, but to be honest, being near him again almost hurts. I know it’s him, but I still…”

He massaged his neck.

“Are you still afraid of him?” Kili asked. “Because that was just the gold madness, Bilbo. He’d never really hurt anyone he loves.”

“He tried to kill me, Kili,” Bilbo reminded him. “That’s not something anyone can easily overcome. No matter how much they loved their attacker beforehand. Or the reason behind it.”

The brothers exchanged a glance.

“That’s true,” Fili said.

“But at the same time, Uncle wasn’t himself. I mean, I get why you had to leave, Bilbo, and I accept that, but…well…you’re his One. No one will blame him for what he did to you more than himself.”

“I don’t know, Lads…”

“Bilbo, do you know what a One is for a Dwarf?” Balin asked, leaning on the table.

Bilbo shook his head and Balin motioned him to look around the table.

“Dwalin and Ori,” he said. “Are One. At one glance, a Dwarf might think them completely unsuited for each other. The age difference worries some people, too, but in the end, it’s no one’s decision but their own. They’ve made it work.

“Dwalin is battle hardened, but Ori makes him more aware of his strength. And Ori, soft-spoken librarian and scribe, is stronger and braver because Dwalin makes him want to be strong and brave. You recall Gloin’s wife, aye?”

“I do.”

“Do you think they don’t have their own issues? They’ve been together for decades, nearly a century now. They have their fights, you know, but that doesn’t stop Gloin from adoring her. He’s a family man, even if he doesn’t seem it sometimes. He loves that woman and would die for her. He’d cut off his own hands if he even thought to hurt her.”

Bilbo looked at Balin again.

“What does this have anything to do with me and Thorin?”

“You’re his One. The only person Thorin will ever love in a romantic way. You might not want him anymore. You might not trust him as you used to. You might never love him as you used to, but for him, you’re it. You’re all there will be for him. He’d die for you. He’d kill for you. He’d do whatever it took to make you happy.

“When a Dwarf calls you his One, you have his loyalty and his devotion for the rest of his days.”

“That’s not fair,” Bilbo concluded. “Not to me or to him.”

“That’s how we love,” Balin said. “And he loves you with everything that is in him. I know that it’s not been easy for you and him. You began courting at the worst possible time and it exploded in your faces. The madness didn’t help. The Arkenstone, definitely, didn’t help. Still, you’re his One. And you came back. Thorin will do whatever it takes to be worthy of you again, even if it means abdicating the throne.”

“Ugh, don’t say that,” Fili groaned.

“You’ve done well enough and I think you’ll do just fine as king,” Balin said, patting Fili’s shoulder.

“I don’t wanna be king yet…can’t I have at least another fifty years to be an idiot?”


	5. Chapter 5

Bilbo spent the night revisiting what Balin told him at dinner.

It hurt to think that Thorin would love no one else.

 _You are my home_ is what Thorin said the day Bilbo left. _There is no one else for me, Bilbo. It’s you. It’s always been you and always will be._

So that was what he meant.

This concept of a Dwarf’s One.

If anything, that made what transpired between them on the parapets worse.

Bilbo poured himself another glass of wine, wondering what he was going to do. He knew a part of him would always love Thorin. But after everything…

It wasn’t fair. Not at all. Not to him and certainly not to Thorin.

What if Thorin fell to the madness again? Would he be obsessed with Bilbo again? Would he try to kill him again?

There were too many “what ifs.”

He could befriend him again, certainly, but love him? After everything? Bilbo didn’t know. He wanted to say yes. He knew so many people would want him to say yes.

He set his glass down and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 _Oh, you are such a fool, Bilbo Baggins_ , he thought.

#

“I want to walk again,” Thorin groused.

“Yes, well, give it time,” Balin said patiently. “Patience is key here, Thorin. And you’ve made remarkable strides in your recovery all ready. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished so far.”

He knew Balin was right, even if he hated the truth of it all.

“Has Bilbo spoken to you recently?”

“Yes,” Balin assured him. “I’m working on a way to coordinate everyone so we can all visit you. Unless you feel up to going down to the lower levels for dinner at Bombur’s or tea at Dori’s.”

Thorin thought on that. “One day, certainly, but not…now. I fear that I’m still too weak.” He glared at his legs, wanting to curse them for their dormancy.

“Thorin, you will get better. And you’ll regain your strength. This is just another trial you’re bound to go through,” Balin assured him. “You have always been strong in the face of adversity. This is no different.”

“I know,” Thorin sighed. It did help to remind him that he’d survived so much in his life. “It’s still frustrating.”

“I’ve no doubt. I take it you’ll want to get back to work soon. I dare say, Fili would be glad for the reprieve.” They exchanged knowing smiles.

“I hear he did well.”

Balin scoffed. “Well? He did well? He is a natural at it. More than you’ve ever been. Then again, he’s always had a calmer temper than you. If you were to abdicate or die, Erebor will be in good hands.”

“I might,” Thorin sighed. “I hadn’t been much of a king since we returned to the Mountain.”

Gold madness. Then comatose for nearly two years. Erebor’s current prosperity was not his doing. It was all Fili’s.

“And how does Fili feel about it?”

“Overwhelmed,” Balin said. “Not unlike how you were when you started. You were prone to explode often when your rule began.”

“I was in my sixties when my rule began,” Thorin said. “I think I was liable to, as you say, explode. I was perhaps more overwhelmed than Fili feels. More to worry about, I suppose.”

“You were still a child, Thorin. You did what you could, and you succeeded.”

“Then why do I feel like I’ve failed everyone?”

“Because you’ve always been too hard on yourself,” Balin said. “Thorin, you brought us back to Erebor. Before then, you made the bad rock of Ered Luin inhabitable. You led us through the wilderness, and we survived our nomadic years because you stepped up. Yes, you were a child. But no one else could have done better. If anyone deserves retirement, it is certainly you. Perhaps go to the Shire. It’s a good place to settle down and relax, I take it.”

Thorin chuckled. The Shire. Bilbo’s home. He could see it. A future with his One. A life of peace and plenty where he didn’t have to fight anymore. A home where he could be free of his crown. Where he could have a future with Bilbo.

“I agree. But first things first. I need to get better,” he said, motioning at his legs. “And after that, I have to rebuild what was broken between me and Bilbo. If he will let me, that is.”

“I think he will,” Balin said. “He cares for you, even if he is wary now.”

“Wary of a cripple,” Thorin scoffed. “I have royally fucked up when I was sick, didn’t I?”

“He came back, didn’t he? Perhaps that is just the romantic in me, but I find that to be quite hopeful,” Balin assured him, patting Thorin’s knee. “Bilbo loves you. He’ll remember it before the end. But like in your recovery, you must be patient.”

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting off an oncoming headache. “I’ll keep that in mind, then,” he decided. Balin gently bumped their heads together and left Thorin to his thoughts. He looked out the window, frowning…

_He found him in the smoke house, hanging weed and leaf to dry for smoking. A stream of sunlight poked through the smoke, beaming against strands of Bilbo’s hair as if it were a part of the light itself._

_Thorin swallowed, throat gone dry._

_He could be mistaken, after all. Who was to say that the hug he shared with Bilbo was what he thought it was? He needed to know for sure._

_Thorin moved forward into the smoke house. “Master Baggins.”_

_Bilbo looked up from his work and smiled. “Well, you seem better than before,” he said. Thorin arched a brow at him and Bilbo cleared his throat. “No bruises.”_

_“Oh. Yes,” Thorin replied, massaging the back of his neck. He still ached, but it wasn’t as bad as before. “I’m mostly healed now. Oin’s figured I’m well enough to stretch my legs if nothing else.”_

_“Good,” Bilbo said. “Very good.”_

_Thorin did not move from where he stood, staring at Bilbo. How was he to ask the other for what he needed right now. Bilbo looked at him again and cleared his throat again._

_“Is there something I can do for you, Thorin? Do you need to smoke? Only the leaves won’t be ready for some time yet. They aren’t dried out enough for that yet. But I think Bofur’s got a few new pipes ready.”_

_“You think I am craving leaf?” Thorin asked, feeling a little incredulous at the idea. He wasn’t as heavy a smoker as his kin!_

_Bilbo shrugged. “Why else would you still be here, then.”_

_Thorin stepped closer and Bilbo stood. He might be average height or even a little taller than his kin, but he was still at least a head shorter than Thorin, meeting his gaze. He seemed resolute in his stance, as if ready to defend himself from attack if need be._

_“I am here because I wish to speak with you,” Thorin assured him. He scoffed at himself. “Yet as always I am at a loss how to even do that.”_

_“What? Talking to me? I’m quite easy to talk to. Why would that be hard for you?”_

_Thorin swallowed, eyes flitting over Bilbo’s face. The cute curve of his nose. The tanned and freckled skin. The color of his eyes and his hair. The point of his ears. He was quite fair. Elfish, and yet decidedly_ not _Elfish at all._

_Unsure how to explain himself better, Thorin reached out and pulled Bilbo back into his arms._

_He exhaled, feeling the same lightness as before when he first wrapped his arms around the Hobbit. His heart seemed to beat just a little faster. His body just a little warmer…_

_“It is you,” he whispered._

_“Me?” Bilbo asked, pushing away from Thorin, holding him at arm’s length. “What do you mean? Thorin just tell me.”_

_“I do not expect someone who is not a Dwarf to understand,” he said._

_“Well, try to explain it to me in a way that I will be able to, then.”_

_“My people are passionate. You know this.”_

_Bilbo nodded._

_Well, even then, that much was quite obvious._

_“And you are aware that this passion is directed into all that we do.”_

_Again, Bilbo nodded._

_“That same passion, that drive, also can be directed toward one whom we will give our heart to, the one person we will love with all that we are. Romantically. Sexually, if it is wanted. I have felt it was you when I met you that night in your house.”_

_Bilbo blinked at him, startled. “Wait. What?” He stepped just out of Thorin’s reach, as though expecting it to be a cruel joke. “You’re in love with me?”_

_Thorin nodded stiffly._

_“But that can’t be right!” Bilbo cried. “You’re a king!”_

_Thorin wanted to laugh. He tried to keep his face neutral, though he wanted to laugh at Bilbo’s insistence that he couldn’t possibly be in love with him._

_“How does my station in life have anything to do with whether or not you are my One? I know my heart and my mind. Would it be easier to accept if I were nothing more than as I am? My heart is yours, Master Baggins.”_

_Bilbo swallowed. “I…well…I’m not royal. Nor am I a Dwarf. I’m not even a burglar or a warrior or whatever Gandalf’s convinced you all I am. I never thought to even hope you’d prefer males, either. And even if I had known you did, I’d never have guessed you’d want me.”_

_“I do,” Thorin assured him. “More than anything.”_

_Bilbo chewed his lower lip, thinking. His eyes betrayed his doubt. “Would you kiss me, then?” he asked. “And teach me how to court a Dwarf properly. I’ve a feeling it’ll be hard to do the sort of things my people are used to doing –”_

_Thorin barely heard another word out of Bilbo’s mouth, already stepping closer to him. He cupped Bilbo’s cheek and leaned down, pressing their lips together. Bilbo gasped, allowing the kiss to deepen…_

So much went wrong. Some of it, Thorin knew they had already overcome. Bilbo knew Thorin was a stubborn fool sometimes. But he was always patient with him. Bilbo was the calm one.

“You’re lost in thought.”

Thorin turned to the door and he managed a small smile. “Bilbo,” he greeted. “I take it my sister is suitably distracted.”

“Your nephews assured me she was,” he said, approaching. “Your voice sounds better.”

“It is getting there. There are times its still so dry, but yes, I’m not forced to whisper anymore.”

“Wonderful.” Bilbo sat at the chair beside Thorin’s bed. “Balin said you were getting restless.”

Thorin rolled his eyes. “Of course, he did.”

“Other than feeling stir-crazy…”

Thorin glared at him. “Not funny.”

“Oi! Stir-crazy is something anyone can get. It’s not a legitimate illness. It just means you’re restless.”

“Just say restless, then. I’d rather not be reminded of what I did, if you mind.”

Bilbo fell silent. “I wasn’t trying to bring it up,” he said. “I certainly didn’t think you’d be that sore about it…Perhaps I was a bit too insensitive. I apologize. I know you’re not mad, Thorin. Trust me. I am very grateful for that.”

Thorin nodded. “I’m sorry, too. For snapping.”

“You’re bedridden. It’s natural to be a little snippy, I think.”

Thorin glanced at Bilbo’s hands, folded on his lap. He wanted to reach out to him. Take those hands in his own and kiss them.

He dared not.


	6. ON HIATUS

Hey guys!

First of all, thanks to everyone who's been reading. I hope you'll stay with me for a while longer.

I got a new job and while I am trying to get a page in a day, that's not been the case for all the stories I'm working on. So I decided to go back to a one at a time method. For the foreseeable future, I'll be working on my Drarry story, Gold and Silver Cracks. 

I'm not abandoning any of my current works in progress. When I get back to this one, I'll delete this message and upload the next chapter. 

Thank you, everyone, for being such great readers and for being so patient with me.

With much love,

Silver.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this Prompt from the Hobbit Kink Meme:
> 
> Bilbo and Thorin were in a relationship before they reclaimed Erebor and were even engaged by putting courting braids into each other's hair. But after the battle and Thorin's gold sickness Bilbo can't find it in himself to return Thorin's feelings anymore, so he waits until Thorin wakes in the healing tents after the battle to announce that he will return to the shire. Thorin is devastated, apologizes again and again and begs Bilbo not to leave him. But the hobbit looks at Thorin's tear-stained face and all he can see is the raging mad Thorin who tried to throw him from the ramparts. 
> 
> Thorin is sobbing around the words and begging for another chance but Bilbo can't stand the sight of him anymore, so he all but rips the courting beads out of his hair and puts them on Thorin’s chest and leaves without looking back. Thorin is clutching the beads and his breathing is turning more labored until he passes out. 
> 
> Bilbo leaves without saying his farewells (he suspects that the company would try to convince him to stay) and he has been back in the shire for months when he hears the knocking on the door and Balin and Dwalin stand before him. Dwalin's face is full off suppressed rage and he doesn't say a word but Balin explains to Bilbo that Thorin didn't wake up after the hobbit left. Bilbo, who has now had the time to emotionally process everything that has happened and has forgiven Thorin, sucks in a sharp breath, thinking Thorin has died shortly after bilbo rejected him. Balin hastily explains that Thorin has just fallen into a coma-like healing sleep. 
> 
> They found Thorin unconscious, clutching Bilbo's courting beads and had drawn their own conclusions. Balin explains that falling into a healing sleep is quite common when a dwarf has sustained severe injuries, but all Thorin's physical wounds are healed and he has been in the healing sleep for almost a year. He calmly explains that he thinks Thorin's body is trying to heal Thorin's broken heart and when Bilbo still doesn't understand Dwalin blurts out 'all of this is your fault, so you should be the one fixing it!' and Bilbo finally understands why the both have come here. 
> 
> I am a huge sucker for happy endings, so I would very much like Bilbo to return with them, make peace with the entire company and coax Thorin out of his coma. (But I wouldn't be against a more angsty approach either...)
> 
> +Bonus: If no one had the heart to remove Thorin's courting beads, so they are still in his hair when Bilbo returns to him.


End file.
